


Ghosting

by Rae_chan



Category: Persona 5
Genre: Angst, Death, Grief, Sadness, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-03
Updated: 2017-06-03
Packaged: 2018-11-08 11:33:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,693
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11080719
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rae_chan/pseuds/Rae_chan
Summary: After the Phantom Thieves come out from Shido's palace, Ryuji is tragically missing until Akira spots him, but something isn't right.





	Ghosting

**Author's Note:**

> Branching from the canon after Shido's palace, if you haven't played up to that point, I'd say play it, and then you can come back and have your heart ripped out (again!)

“We're back,” Yusuke announced flatly. Everyone glanced around quickly before their faces all fell.

“Ryuji?” Ann spoke aloud hopefully. There was a long silence that followed.

“He- he's not here,” Haru squeaked, voicing reality.

“Morgana, he's a real person, surely even if he was knocked away he'd still come out right?” Akira asked the cat.

“Probably?” Morgana cringed, tail flicking.

“Probably?! We need a better answer than that,” Makoto demanded, “He has to have escaped, somehow...” Morgana seemed to shrink a bit, but said no more.

“Mannn, that was close,” a familiar voice rang out. Akira's head shot up, searching for the origin of the voice.

“Ryuji?” he said aloud.

Futaba look up from her hands, which were clenched together tightly, and looked where Akira was looking. Looking back at him, she hiccuped, “Do you really think he made it out?”

Akira started at her question.

“I just made it out, I guess, that explosion must have knocked me out, I woke up on the grass on the other side of the building,” Ryuji sauntered forward, looking as casual as ever, then seemed to notice the horrified look on Akira's face and the lack of acknowledgment from the rest.

“Look,” Akira raised his voice and pointed right at Ryuji.

Ann's head snapped up, looking in the direction he pointed, right at Ryuji, but her form slumped again, tears falling, “I don't think he's coming back,” she managed to say before beginning to cry in earnest.

“Whoa, this has gotta be a joke right?” Ryuji chuckled dryly.

“I hate to say it, but we should go home before we attract any unwanted attention,” Makoto was holding back her tears, keeping the group's safety in mind.

“Uh guys,” Ryuji came closer, Akira still watching silently.

“That would be wise,” Yusuke nodded, “we should split up, but going in smaller groups should work just as well,”

Ryuji got right in front of Makoto, but no recognition crossed her face, “Oookay guys, great prank, I know you were super worried, but there's no need to pretend I'm not even here,”

Akira's face went white as Makoto proceeded to step right through Ryuji to place a hand on Haru's shoulder, offering to take the train with her. Ryuji cried out in surprise, but stayed rooted to the spot.

He slowly looked back at Akira who was still looking right at him,“A-Akira?”

“Akira?” Futaba chose that moment to grab him by the arm, “we should go, or Sojiro will worry,” her voice was quiet, her eyes glued to the ground. When Akira didn't respond, the rest of the group seemed to catch on.

“Akira are you okay?” Makoto asked.

“You look like you've seen a ghost,” Yusuke added.

Akira swallowed, finally dragging his eyes away from Ryuji, “I'm not okay,” his voice was almost imperceptible. He squeezed his eyes shut, feeling Futaba on one side of him and Ann on the other side, sniffling loudly.

“R-really funny,” came Ryuji's voice again, “Come on, just give it up already,” Ryuji had homed in on Akira's recognition and was pleading.

“I-I'm sorry...” Akira choked out, finally breaking down.

“There's a light coming around that corner, we really should go,” Makoto hissed, having lowered her voice. She then dragged both Yusuke and Haru off in one direction. Akira spared one glance at Ryuji who was freaking out and then behind him to the growing light, and without a second thought pulled Ann and Futaba away.

 

“I'll come by tomorrow,” Futaba said quickly before disappearing into Sojiro's house. Akira hung outside the gate for a moment, listening as Sojiro pounced on Futaba, before her tears quieted his scolding for being out too late.

“Please! I know you can see me, say something!” Ryuji yelled.

He turned away and made his way to the end of the lane, then turned towards the cafe. Ryuji continued to yell and followed him.

“I think I'm going to walk around a bit,” Morgana suddenly spoke up, jumping from Akira's bag and darting into an alleyway. As soon as the cat was gone, Akira deflated. He flinched every time Ryuji yelled, and almost dropped his key as he was unlocking the cafe door. He instinctively stepped aside to let Ryuji in before locking up behind him.

“Stop,” Akira said finally, dropping his bag to the floor, and basically collapsing into the nearest booth, “Please stop,”

“Finally, What the hell!” Ryuji didn't lower his voice, “Why are you the only one who see's me!”

Akira's arms snaked around his head as he let the cool surface of the table on his forehead ground him. He mumbled a few words, but they were too muffled to make out. It sounded as if Ryuji was going to speak again, but didn't as Akira's shoulders shuddered under the weight of a barely contained sob. A thump triggered Akira to raise his head just enough to see that Ryuji had fallen to his knees, looking conflicted and confused.

“Come on, I'm right here,” he spoke frankly.

“Except I don't think that's strictly true,” Akira found the composure to say.

“What does that mean?” Ryuji snapped, “What was with everyone else? You're all acting like someone died,”

A hysterical laugh ripped its way from Akira, before he smiled and stood, his bangs falling over his eyes, “Ryuji can you do me a favor?”

“Uh, yeah, sure,” Ryuji blinked, one hand carding through his hair to rest behind his neck.

“I'm tired, would you mind if I go to bed? you can crash here,” Akira picked up his discarded bag.

“Oh yeah, that last fight was exhausting, wasn't it,” he didn't look entirely convinced, “And I guess you already locked up didn't you...”

Akira let him talk as he led them up to his attic. He didn't say another word until he had climbed into bed.

“And Morgana slinking off like that, I mean I was gone not even five minutes, and you guys got this ruse going,”

“Ryuji,” Akira stopped him.

“Right, sorry,” Ryuji sputtered.

“We can talk tomorrow,” Akira said as he rolled over onto his side, facing away from Ryuji.

“Tomorrow, kay,” Ryuji said flatly before Akira heard the rustling of him settling back into the couch. It took very little time to fall into a fitful sleep, plagued by nightmares of explosions and finding himself all alone in the life boat.

 

“I couldn't sleep at all last night, though by the way you were tossing around, I don't think you did either,” Ryuji chatted the next morning, Akira nodding along with him. As they descended the stairs they could hear some chatter from the cafe.

“Seriously?”

“But why a kid?”

“Maybe it was Shido's doing?”

“Yeah weren't the Phantom Thieves going to take care of it?”

“I dunno, I still have my doubts,”

“A body right in the middle of the government building's lawn is pretty odd, don't you think,”

Akira froze at the bottom of the stairs. Ryuji didn't react quickly enough, but instead of bowling him over, Ryuji passed right through Akira, crying out in shock.

Akira retreated a couple of stairs, out of sight of the patrons, “Come back upstairs,”

“We're gonna be late though,” Ryuji pointed out, seeming to gloss over what had just occurred.

“Just come on,” Akira hissed, resisting the urge to grab him, which he knew would fail. Ryuji looked out into the cafe before following.

Akira flicked on his TV, flipping to the news channel that was surely on downstairs. He was greeted with the sight of Ryuji's smiling face and the headline reading, “Student found dead on Government property,”

“You are acting really weird,” Ryuji said coming around towards Akira, “Seriously, what's goin-” his words died as he looked at the screen. The screen flicked from the newscaster to a helicopter shot of emergency vehicles crowding the building, and underneath the grainy quality of the shot, Akira and Ryuji watched as a black bag was loaded onto an ambulance.

“No word yet as to the cause of death or how the student came to be on government property. Our reporters are on the scene with police, and details will be released as they become available,” the newscaster said before the screen became a neon colored advertisement.

Neither boy spoke, but eventually Akira slid back, sitting hard on his bed, head in his hands.

“This can't be real,” Ryuji finally spoke up as another commercial came up.

Akira only shook his head, not even looking up, but the tears escaping between his fingers betrayed the calm, reasonable mask he wanted to wear.

“Tell me this isn't real,” Ryuji turned to his friend who couldn't even look up at him.

“Back to the breaking news story, a student, Identified as Ryuji Sakamato, has been found dead,” the newscaster repeated. Akira grabbed the remote and shut it off.

“I'm so sorry,” he stood finally looking Ryuji in the eye, “I failed you...”

Ryuji's face was unreadable, “I don't get it,”

Akira clenched his fists, “What!?” he demanded, “What is there not to get? You're dead!”

“Yeah I got that,” Ryuji grumbled, “But why can you see me when no one else could,”

“Like I know why?” Akira threw his hands up before Ryuji went white and staggered back, “What is it now?”

“Makoto went through me,” Ryuji gulped, his eyes refocused on Akira, “I went through you just now,”

“And?” Akira prompted, losing patience.

“I really am stupid, it didn't even occur to me till just now,” a short laugh escaped him, “talk about denial,”

Akira just stared as Ryuji seemed to work things out in his head, the look on his face the same as when they had studied together and he was working through something Akira had just explained to him.

“Guess that's what I get for trying to be the hero for once,” Ryuji shook his head, “I should be the one apologizing, I mean it was my idea not yours,” He paused, chewing the inside of his lip a bit before adding, “And I'm sorry I was yelling at you and all that, that wasn't fair of me, I guess it would have looked pretty wack if you had been talking to thin air,”

Akira laughed and wiped his face, Ryuji raising an eyebrow at the response, “Only you would apologize for not being acknowledged,” He shook his head, “I don't think I'm going to school today, I mean, my best friend just died,”

“Yeah, good enough reason as any,” Ryuji shrugged, “I'm actually going to go,”

Akira blinked, his expression asking the obvious question.

“I should see how everyone else is doing, I dunno, maybe see if they notice me too,” he shrugged.

Akira's mouth made a hard line, thinking before he said, “Just, just don't get your hopes up,”

He say Ryuji's expression twitch before reforming back into his carefree face, “I'll be back later,”

Akira pulled out his phone, typing a quick message into the group chat before turning off his phone and going back to bed.

 

 

Waking was sudden after yet another nightmare, this one killing Ryuji over and over, as Akira struggled to reach him in time. Morgana wasn't around to complain about him jolting out of bed, but something in the room wasn't like usual. He reached for his glasses clumsily, and as everything came into focus, he realized Ryuji was lounging on his couch, his eyes were open and staring at the ceiling.

Ryuji seemed to snap out of whatever train of thought he had and noticed Akira, “Oh hey, you seemed to finally get to sleep, so I thought I'd let you be,”

Akira just stared at him, his tired brain slowly piecing reality back together, and with every piece his heart sank lower. He found himself wishing that he could go back to the nightmares, cause at least the adrenaline of them kept him from feeling the heavy ache of the loss. His gaze dropped.

“I, uh, maybe I shouldn't stay,” Ryuji got up from the couch.

“Don't go,” The blanket bunched in his fists, but his head still hung, eyes hidden.

“I don't want to drag you down by being here,” Ryuji looked away as well.

“It isn't fair,” Akira cried, “Was this my fault?”

“Not even close,” Ryuji shook his head, approaching the bed and plopping down at the end.

“I cheated death, so it went ahead and took its due anyway,” Akira's hands moved from the blanket, crossing them over his chest and holding his shoulders as if he could physically keep himself together.

“In what way does that make any sense, it was that Akechi trying to kill you. You outsmarted a detective with a plan, not some random accident,” Ryuji didn't make a move to be closer, but Akira felt his eyes on him again.

“If we had gotten out just a bit sooner, had a better escape plan,” Akira reasoned frantically, “if I had accounted for the fact that we were on a boat, and that the castles crumble after their ruler is beaten,”

“Except that's not your job, we work as a team, no one blames you,” Ryuji shifted closer, “Listen, You gotta continue, especially cause Shido is going to confess, he wants to, but there are some shady guys around him,”

Akira brought his eyes up in a look of confusion.

Ryuji rubbed his neck, “I kinda went back to look in on Shido, on account of no one being able to see me,” he sighed, “Well except you and that penny pinching psychic,”

“She saw you?” Akira asked surprised.

“She did, kinda freaked out saying I looked like the dead kid, but then seemed to sober up and claimed to have made a mistake. The looks other people were giving her were enough to maybe clue her into something, but I don't think she realized,” Ryuji shrugged, “That's not the point, the people around Shido are probably gonna pull something, so you guys need to be ready,”

“Right,” Akira said quietly. Ryuji didn't say any more, he didn't need to, the sense of urgency and danger had always been there. Akira knew that, but he had one last thought.

“I want to try one thing,” he said to Ryuji, getting up out of the bed, “Come with me,”

He turned on his phone and immediately got a pile of notifications which he ignored, and dialed a number.

“Akira!” Makoto cried as soon as she picked up, “We've been trying to reach you since, you know, was your phone off or something?”

“Yes,” he grunted.

“That's unlike you,” she sounded empathetic, “But I'm glad to hear from you, we sent Futaba once, but it seems Sojiro heard an outburst and decided you needed the space. Seemed to think you were arguing with yourself,”

Akira gritted his teeth before continuing, “I want to ask you a favor,”

“What do you need?” Makoto got right to the point.

“Mementos, I want to go, but not alone,” Akira said, “You know, to let off a little steam, to do something,”

“I understand, I'll meet you in the plaza in an hour,” she said before hanging up.

“What exactly are you trying at here?” Ryuji asked.

“Humor me,” was the only reply as he collected his things. Sojiro didn't stop Akira as he rushed out, but the look of concern was plain as day, leaving a guilty feeling in the back of Akira's mind. The hope that his idea would work drove him on, taking him straight to the station plaza to wait for Makoto to arrive.

 

“Akira, hey,” Makoto greeted him, “You sure you want to go into Mementos, you look pretty tired already,”

“Yeah, I need to do something,” he pulled out his phone, opening the navigator. He closed his eyes as he felt them get pulled underground into the entrance of Mementos.

 

“Joker?” Makoto's voice spoke hesitantly. Akira waited, waited for another voice to say his name.

It didn't come. His eyes snapped open, darting around. Not finding their target he began physically turning, searching.

“Joker, what are you looking for?” Makoto asked, her voice layered with concern, “It's just us two here, no shadows can come here,”

“No,” Akira breathed, “NO! Ryuji!” he called out frantically. When he didn't immediately get an answer, he dashed down into the first level of mementos, throwing caution to the wind. He barely even heard Makoto calling to him and chasing him as he tore through the dungeon, running right past shadows that were more than happy to avoid them.

Whipping around a corner produced something neither of them was expecting, one of the swirling cognition vortexes that usually popped up due to a request. But they hadn't looked for any due to being too focused on taking down Shido.

“Could this be a mistake?” Makoto asked, “Or did you go looking before we entered?”

“No, I didn't, I was too focused on...” trailing off, a lightbulb went off in his head, as to exactly what, or who, he had been focusing on. Makoto rushed after him as he went through the portal.

“Finally, I thought you'd never find me,” Ryuji stood in the middle of the room, but he was different. He had the yellow eyes that marked people's shadows, but the swirling mist that usually encompassed them was absent.

“Ryuji? Is that you?” Makoto gasped from behind Akira, who turned to her.

“You can see him too?” he asked breathlessly. She answered with a nod.

“Hate to cut the revelation short,” Ryuji spoke up, “But now that you're here, we can talk about setting me free,”

“What?” Akira gasped, “Free?”

“Yeah, that's kinda why my ghost has been following you around,” Ryuji shrugged, “Not that he knows it,”

“Wait, he?” Makoto was the one to ask.

“How do I explain this without getting complicated,” the shadow Ryuji crossed his arms and thought for a moment, “I'm what's left of his persona, the metaverse fragment of the soul that's wandering around out there with Arsene,” The shadow caught the looks of confusion cast it's way, “Wrong name, kinda hard to keep it all straight, I meant to say Joker,” He pointed to Akira.

“So if you are Ryuji's persona, why are you down here in Mementos?” Makoto asked.

“He didn't realize he was dead right away, and grew rather attached,” the shadow emphasized the last word, “I don't really blame him, and by the way, I don't blame you guys either, but regrets are a sticky thing.”

“If you are going somewhere with this?” Akira prompted shortly.

“I'd like you to change his heart and let him go,” the shadow smiled, the shadowy mist appearing, “Cause regrets of the living cling harder than the regrets of the dead,”

As the shadow burst and began to resolve again, it took the familiar shape of Captain Kidd, “I know you can do it, and I'll go easy, but I ain't going down without a fight,”

“Then you're not going down at all, I'm not going to fight you,” Akira said stubbornly.

“See, this is what I meant,” the persona shook its head, “Think of it this way, he can't talk to anyone, touch anything, do anything. How do you think he feels, how he felt that pushed him to take his last stand,”

“He felt useless,” Makoto, who had been silently observing, stepped up, “If he could have heard Ann, he would know that wasn't true,”

“He will, if he can let go of the physical world,” the persona elaborated, “There, he and I can live on in memory, instead of being chained here by your leader's cognition,”

“Akira, I know how much Ryuji meant to you,” Makoto grabbed Akira's coat, turning him to her, “He's irreplaceable, but just think of what will happen if you keep him here. Here where his desires and regrets can fester and grow,”

“But-” Akira's voice trembled.

“If you don't attack, I will,” Makoto closed her eyes, summoning Johanna, hopping on the motorbike like persona, and tearing off towards Captain Kidd.

“Would not a gentleman thieves death suit a friend so dear?” the deep voice inside of Akira's true heart rumbled.

“No one will know,” Akira whispered.

“You and your confidants will know,” Arsene assured, “He knew of the danger, as did you, Death is but another pursuer to shake off, but it is also the craftiest and swiftest with its marks,”

“Am I not marked?” Akira asked.

“You are mortal, are you not?” Arsene went question for question.

Akira considered the answer, “Then an honorable death is all I can hope for,” with his answer in his head, he leaped into the battle, fighting alongside Makoto, using no other persona but Arsene.

 

Akira was the one to strike the final blow. Captain Kidd dissolved, become the Shadow Ryuji once more, “Seems you found your peace Joker,” he smirked, “Don't let it get to your head now,”

Light encompassed Ryuji and receded into an orb, the ones that held treasures of Mementos. Akira hesitantly reached out and grabbed at the treasure, letting it resolve in his hand. He carefully tucked it away, the item disappearing into the folds of his coat.

“Let's go, Joker,” Makoto had a hand on his shoulder. He nodded and they retreated from Mementos.

 

“Is he gone now?” Makoto asked, watching as Akira looked around. He looked a little longer, obviously holding back panic. Eventually Akira nodded and excused himself, giving Makoto leave to tell the others what had occurred.

 

It wasn't until he had returned to his attic home, that he pulled out the treasure he had collected. Skull's mask gleamed in the dim light and Akira could swear he heard Ryuji laugh as he had when they won a particularly tough battle. This was one treasure he would never sell, he thought as he set the mask carefully on his work desk, right next to the photo they had taken in Hawaii. He hoped someday they would smile like that again, but for today sadness and grief would keep him company until their next challenge arose.

 


End file.
